You Will Find the People Who Matter

by Jay Delaney

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“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss

When you’re creating your own path in life, the road can get lonely at times.  Don’t get me wrong; there’s a large part of finding your way that involves you being comfortable on your own, listening to yourself, as you are.  But some people can get so wrapped up in themselves and their own desires that they lose sight of just how important other people – and personal relationships – are.

By Living Your Life in Line with What You Value, You’re More Likely to Find & Attract People Who Will Matter to You

By being true to yourself and living your life in line with what you value, I believe you’re more likely to find and attract people who will matter to you.  I’ll give you an example.  In 2006, I made the decision to apply to graduate film school.  This was not an easy decision for me; I had considered film school as an undergrad but decided to get a more practical degree like marketing.  But filmmaking kept gnawing at me inside, and I decided to answer the call by pursuing it full-time as a film student.  I moved from Ohio to Orlando to begin classes, and I quickly met a fellow film student through the program who is now my soon-to-be wife.  Had I not decided to take the leap to film school, I never would have met Erin.

Now, when I talk about personal relationships, I’m not talking specifically about meeting your significant other.  I’m talking about meeting those you connect deeply with for some span of time.  It may be someone who encourages you onward, challenges you to think, or introduces you to other interesting people.  Or it might be someone you can assist by sharing your own unique gifts with him or her.  (It’s no coincidence that some of the greatest people I’ve met have also been some of the most giving and generous with others; sharing your gifts opens you up to a whole new level of growth, learning, and contributing.)

Several of the people I’ve interviewed so far have mentioned the importance of partnering with someone.  In an upcoming interview, you’ll hear Libby Alexander of The Vintage Bazaar talk about how she and her business partner met and how their initial 4-hour conversation blossomed into The Vintage Bazaar.  In the interview with Kent Nichols of Ask A Ninja, it’s clear that Ask A Ninja wouldn’t be what it is without he and Douglas Sarine joining forces.  These relationships did not seem to come about entirely randomly; for both Libby and Kent, living in line with what they value in life set them on a course that ultimately led them to meet their business/creative partners.

Focus On Those Who Matter

It’s far too easy to spend too much time dancing around those people who don’t really matter to you.  It’s easy to get caught up in what the critics say, in what the public at large thinks, or in the opinions of those you don’t really respect.  But this is just a waste of time.  When it comes to other people, the only opinions that should matter at all are of those who matter to you.

Living in Line with What You Value

I want to be clear too that when I say “living in line with what you value,” I’m not encouraging you to go out and quit your day job.  It can be as simple as adopting the mindset of being open to meeting other people as opportunities arise.  Or it can be taking a photography class, joining a gardening group, or volunteering for an after-school program – doing whatever it is that you value.  When I lived in New York City, I took a continuing ed class in film production from the School of Visual Arts.  Through that class, I met some wonderful people, developed several new friendships, and made at least one lifelong friendship with a fellow student named Jack Harari.  Had I not taken the leap to take the film class and had Jack not taken the leap himself to take the class too, we never would have met.

The bottom line is that I believe if you’re living life in line with what you value, then you’re far more likely to find those people who will matter to you.  And when you do meet them, I sincerely hope you’ll take the time to cherish those friendships and encourage each other onward.

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